Hanging on…

5:45 am

I wake up Anya to help with Liam because he’s awake, holding his milk and watching Shrek. The day begins early in the Sullivan household. Chris and Bailey struggle to remain asleep because Liam, Anya, Sophia and I tend to be loud dressers. Regardless of circumstances, I remain hopeful to arrive alive!!

6:35 am 

Liam screams, “BYE!!” He waves. Bailey farts on me and hits me on the rear. Sophia and I drive to WCHS.

8:05 am 

I call Anya from school to make sure she left on time. She answers. She hasn’t left the house. WCHS is 50 miles away from home. Needless to say, I am not happy. I go to see her Work Based Learning Coordinator to sign my parental forms. She hasn’t signed any of hers. Why? She is still at home.

9:05 am 

Anya pulls into the parking lot and sits while putting on mascara. I listen as two of my colleagues mention that at the end of the year kids will be kids. I open her vehicle door. She slowly exits and strolls into the gym for graduation practice. I take her keys. I remind myself: she’s a kid. Of course, she is.

10:15 am

My good friend (bless her heart) comes to see me in my classroom with a sticky note.

The sticky note reveals Anya’s history grade in college: 64. She failed to turn in four assignments; she attends class each day. I wonder what she does. It takes me several minutes to locate her at Field Day festivities to have her complete her assignments. Her professor will allow an hour and a half to submit the work.  What in the Jehosaphat!!??

10:45 am 

Anya reluctantly sits at a desk inside my classroom. I see her read and randomly peck at the chromebook. Why doesn’t she ever panic at the shambles that is her academic life? Why the nonchalant attitude? Why the serious APATHY?

11:15 am 

Sophia pops her head around the doorframe of my classroom. “Hey, Mom.”

“Hey, Sophia.” She leaves. Other kids come in and out. I hit my inhaler because my chest is TIGHT. I swear I want to take off my strand necklace and hurt myself. This is one of those days where motherhood bleeds over into the let’s not play this game anymore category.

12:35 pm

The ambiguity of the situation

I am often left pondering how Anya manages to manipulate situations for her own gain. At this time in the day, I am indifferent. I must count my blessings. Sophia walks the halls of WCMS. Liam certainly jabbers away at daycare, and Bailey eats her packed lunch at BCES. Anya plants her obstinate self somewhere in Room 300 at WCHS. All children are accounted for and physically well. Hold tight to small victories. My daddy once said, “Baby, raising teenagers takes a lot of love, patience, and energy.” Amen, Daddy, AMEN.