Analyzing why some relationships have ended in my life.
by Jennifer Greene-Sullivan
Word of Knowledge:
The Lord has brought to my attention that sometimes He removes people from our lives for us and not to us. This distinction is vital. When someone is removed, it’s not necessarily a punishment or a loss—it’s an act of divine protection and purpose. Recently, He revealed to me that someone was removed from my life because of her “wretched heart.” He said, “She is a wretch who lives in wretchedness.” As shocking and heavy as that realization was, it opened my eyes to His loving care in ways I had not fully understood before today. I have also never heard Him say that about someone before today.
Dictionary Definitions for Wretched, Wretchedness, and Wretch
- Wretched: Extremely bad, unpleasant, or of poor quality. It can also describe someone in a very unhappy or unfortunate state.
- Example: “The wretched conditions of the shelter were difficult to endure.”
- Wretchedness: The state or quality of being deeply unhappy, unfortunate, or miserable. It can also refer to extreme moral depravity or evil.
- Example: “The story depicted the wretchedness of human suffering in the face of war.”
- Wretch: A person who is in a very bad or unfortunate situation; someone who is viewed with pity or contempt. It can also refer to someone considered morally reprehensible or wicked.
- Example: “The poor wretch begged for food in the cold.”
What Is a Wretched Heart?
Biblically, a wretched heart refers to a heart that is consumed by sin, self-centeredness, or rebellion against God. Romans 7:24 uses the term “wretched” to describe the inner turmoil caused by sin: “What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death?” A wretched heart is one that has not fully surrendered to God, resulting in spiritual brokenness and distance from Him.
It denotes a state of being trapped in worldly desires, pride, and selfish ambition, unable or unwilling to embrace the transformative power of God’s grace. This kind of heart cannot bear good fruit, as described in Matthew 7:17-18: “Likewise, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit.”
When God identifies someone with a wretched heart, it is often for their own need of redemption and for our protection. Recognizing this truth allows us to release bitterness and trust in His wisdom to guide our relationships.
Understanding the Revelation:
This person’s removal wasn’t about hurting me; it was about protecting me. God, in His wisdom and mercy, saw what I couldn’t. He saw the deeper condition of their heart—the wretchedness that could have impacted my life, my peace, and my spiritual growth if they had remained close to me. Instead of focusing on the pain of their absence, I now see His hand shielding me and redirecting me toward His plans.
The Power of Perspective:
When we face the loss of a relationship or the removal of someone from our lives, it’s natural to feel hurt, confused, or even betrayed. But God’s ways are higher than ours, and His perspective is eternal. What feels like a loss may actually be a gain, and what feels like rejection may be divine redirection.
In Isaiah 55:8-9, the Lord reminds us:
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
What God Taught Me:
- His Protection Is Purposeful:
- God removes people not out of cruelty but out of love. He sees what we cannot, and He acts according to His perfect wisdom.
- Release the Hurt:
- It’s easy to hold onto the pain of losing someone, but when we understand that God is working for us and not against us, we can let go of that hurt and trust Him fully.
- Pray for the Other Person:
- Even though this person is no longer in my life, God reminded me to pray for them. Their wretchedness doesn’t exclude them from His grace, and as believers, we are called to intercede for those who may be far from Him.
- Trust His Sovereignty:
- God’s plans are always better. If He has removed someone, it’s because they were not meant to be part of the journey He has prepared for me.
A Prayer for Trust and Healing:
Lord, thank You for protecting me even when I didn’t see the danger. Thank You for removing relationships that could harm my walk with You and redirecting me toward Your plans. Help me to trust Your decisions, even when they are painful or confusing.
I lift up the person You removed from my life, the one who is suffering in her wretchedness. Lord, You see her pain, her brokenness, and her rebellion. I pray that You soften her heart and reveal Yourself to her in a way she cannot deny. Rescue her from the darkness she is living in and replace it with the light of Your love and grace. Bring redemption to her story, and may she come to know You as her Savior. Use her transformation as a testimony of Your mercy and power.
Teach me to rest in Your sovereignty, knowing You always act in love. Amen.
Closing Reflection:
If you’re wrestling with the loss of someone in your life, ask God to show you His perspective. It may not make sense now, but His plans are always for your good (Romans 8:28). Trust Him to guide you, protect you, and lead you toward His purpose. What feels like a loss may actually be His loving hand at work.
This revelation has shifted my perspective, and I pray it does the same for you. God’s protection is always for us, never against us. Let’s trust Him with every aspect of our lives, including the relationships He chooses to give and to take away.
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The Aging English Major 