The Second Blog Post in the Mercy Series
by Jennifer Greene-Sullivan
Mercy is one of the most beautiful expressions of love—and one of the hardest to live out in real life. Loving mercifully is not a natural response for the wounded heart or the weary spirit. However, it is the way of Jesus. This week in my Mercy Series, the Lord has been teaching me not just how to receive mercy—but how to give it away, even when it hurts, even when it feels unfair.
Loving mercifully is a call to walk in the footsteps of the One who loved us first and best. As I have thought so much about the second post in the Mercy Series, the Lord has brought me back to my FIRST LOVE so many times. He first loved me so that I can love others with MERCY. To be honest, I have learned the most about unconditional love and about merciful love from staying married to my husband Chris, especially this past school year.
While I was teaching high school, leading the praise team, and teaching The River Church Youth Group, Chris and I didn’t spend a lot of time together. He owns S and S FAB and Welding, LLC, and he farms more than 400 acres. He is a highly motivated man! We had forged a life together around our “things”–on what we do rather than who we are.
But God had different plans for us. I did not sign my teaching contract for the 2024-2025 school year. Additionally, in February 2025 the Lord told me to leave The River Church so that we both could attend the same church, and up until that point, we merely co-existed. Now, we have officially spent more time together than we EVER have for ten years. We live together, work together, and we attend church together. This change in the amount of time we spend together has been a blessing and a CHALLENGE.
If you know us, you quickly realize that both of us are very independent and stubborn. We find ourselves still navigating this new reality as a married couple who works together, parents together and prays together. I must admit there have been really hard days. There are times, when to be honest, I just don’t feel that I like the man.
But oh, how I love him—and more importantly, how I’ve been called to love him. The Master has called me to love him, not just with the kind of love that smiles when everything’s easy, but with the kind of love that chooses mercy when I want to choose distance. The kind of love that whispers, “Stay,” when my flesh wants to storm out or to holler or to fight back. The kind of love that remembers Jesus didn’t wait until I was loveable to pour His mercy on me. The kind of love that remembers Jesus picked me up in the middle of my mess, granting favor upon me and giving me a family. My precious husband, Christopher Sullivan, gave me a life, a family, and three more children other than Anya and Sophia. We have decided to build a life together on one true foundation: the love of Jesus!! The merciful, sacrificial love of Yeshua HaMashiach.
“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” – Romans 5:8 (NIV)
Our life lacks luster; our relationship is not glamorous. It doesn’t make for cute Instagram captions. However, as I have been learning to love my husband mercifully, I know Jesus has placed us on His holy ground.
I’m learning that mercy in marriage looks like forgiveness without keeping score. I have to place resentment right into the arms of my Jesus. Mercy and forgiveness look like staying silent when I want the last word. It looks like trusting God to correct me and to make all the crooked places straight, especially the aggravating things or the hurtful things I can’t control. Sometimes, it looks like offering a kind word after a hard morning or night or week.
Sometimes, it just looks like staying right there where Chris is although my flesh wants nothing of it. Loving mercifully means holding no account of wrongs. Loving mercifully means holding no grudge or remembrance of hardships. Loving mercifully means never giving up on my spouse not because I am perfect, not because Chris is perfect, but because Jesus is perfect and present in us both.
Just last week, I found myself on our couch at midnight, clutching my chiweenie and praying to Jesus. I was mad! I was fed up! I wanted to lash out at my husband, but God wanted me to see my marriage His way–loving mercifully!! I prayed, and I cried. I remind Jesus that I only wanted His will in my life, and I was sick and tired of my own attitude and my own selfishness. I asked Him to reshape my shortcomings. I pleaded to Him to reshape me in His image. His answer was clear to me because I surrendered, and I heard the Shepherd’s voice.
“Go to bed, and in the morning, kiss your husband when you wake him for the day.” Rudy (my chiweenie) and I trekked back into our bedroom in the dark. I am sure Chris had no clue I was missing because he sleeps like a LOG. In that dark hour, I put our problems at the feet of Jesus, and I did as He asked me to do. I kissed my husband as I woke him up to get ready that morning, and because of that one act of obedience, I cannot even write about why I was upset with Him. In that act of mercy filled love, the Father took the hurt from me.
I gave that kiss with nothing but love in my heart. I met the needs of my husband later that day with sincere, merciful love for him. However, none of that was done under my own strength. Again, the Lord had met me on that couch, in my moment of weakness, and He had given so lovingly, so mercifully, so perfectly to me. In those moments of surrender and obedience, God freed me from the prison of my own expectations. He reminded me so patiently, “Child, remember your FIRST LOVE! When you understand the depths of your first love, then you will experience true freedom and liberation from hurt and from expectations.”
Thank you, JESUS!! I cannot ever recount accurately or adequately all that You have done for me–from that day on the cross to that night on my couch–You are merciful! You are faithful! You are mine! However, I can take what You are extending to me daily and give it away to my husband because I am learning to love my husband mercifully because You first loved me!!
✝️ Closing Reflection
Learning to love mercifully isn’t about mastering a feeling. It’s about surrendering to a Savior.
It’s choosing Jesus over justice.
It’s choosing grace over grudges.
It’s choosing unity over being right.
Marriage has become the holy ground where I’ve come face-to-face with the cost of mercy—and the power of it. Not just the mercy I receive, but the mercy I am called to extend again and again. Mercy is patient. Mercy is quiet strength. Mercy is walking out love when the world says to walk away. Mercy, when lived out, reflects the very heart of God. Mercy starts at home.
🙏 A Prayer
Lord Jesus,
Teach me to love the way You love. Show me how to live mercy—not just receive it.
When my heart wants to harden, soften it again. When my mouth wants to speak too quickly, quiet me. When my hands want to withdraw, open them in grace.
Let my home be a house of mercy. Let my marriage reflect Your covenant love.
Let my life bear the fruit of someone who has been loved much—and who now chooses to love much in return. Amen.
🪔 A Challenge for You
- Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal where you’ve withheld mercy from someone close to you. Then offer it—genuinely, prayerfully, without expectation.
- Write down 3 ways you can practice mercy in your home this week.
- Speak a blessing over your spouse, even if circumstances are hard.
- If you’re single, ask God to teach you how to love mercifully in your friendships, in family interactions, or in future relationships.
📖 Scripture for Reflection & Study
- Romans 5:8 – While we were still sinners, Christ died for us
- Luke 6:36 – Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful
- 1 Corinthians 13:5 – Love keeps no record of wrongs
- Colossians 3:13 – Forgive as the Lord forgave you
- John 13:34 – Love one another as I have loved you
- Micah 6:8 – Act justly, love mercy, walk humbly
- Ephesians 4:2 – Be patient, bearing with one another in love
- Proverbs 19:11 – A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense
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